Day 7 of The Contentment Journal June 8, 2019

Prompt:  In what area of your life are you killing it?  Um…..being grandma? Again this is part of my purchasing/participating in The Contentment Journal.  I want to do better in all areas.  I am very grateful, but I can’t say I’m content.

I am chronically disorganized. I become hyper focused and let other areas go.  For instance I am making aprons for a friend for her father and her husband for Father’s Day.  Of course I wait until the last minute and make myself crazy making sure I get them done and sent to her so she the aprons are available for gifting next Sunday.  I do not like doing this to myself.  I have made some strides this year in this area, but then I fall right back to it.  I need to be intentional every single day or I fall back into this pattern.

Every other area of my life, other than grandma….I need to make improvements.  I am doing pretty good as a daughter.  My mother lives 1 mile away in an assisted living facility.  I retired as executive director at this facility almost 3 years ago.  3 whole years of retirement.  I thought for sure my house would be decluttered, organized, clean and my yard worthy of a garden tour.  I feel sometimes like I take one step forward and 2 steps back.  I go visit mom usually 3 times a week, every other day or so.  Her short term memory is really bad.  I am not sure she remembers my name all the time, but she knows who I am the minute I say “Hi Mom”.  I recently took mom to where most of her family lives, 5 hours away, for her brother-in-law’s funeral.  She really wanted to go and I took her.  It really opened my eyes to how bad her dementia has become.

It was truly a blessing as we were leaving the grave site, we saw mom’s a couple of headstones that were her siblings with their spouse’s, and then we saw the back of a headstone as we drove away with her last name. I stopped the car, jumped out to see who it was and it was my grandparent’s grave.  I went back and told mom.  She wanted to get out to see.  It was cold and damp that day in the Sacramento Valley, but I led her across to see the headstone.  It was truly moving.

Mom at Grandpa and Grandma's headstone

I am the only sibling that lives here where mom is. My closest sibling is 5 hours away, near where we traveled, then a sister in Oregon and my other brother and sister in Washington. I take care of all mom’s needs. I take care of her finances, paying her bills, organizing for taxes. I make sure she has warm good clothes to wear (thank you LL Bean for those lined jeans). I make sure she has her over-the-counter meds (the assisted living facility orders her prescriptions). I make sure she has peanut butter and water in her refrigerator (she eats meals in the facility dining room). I find things for her (hearing aids I’m looking at you) or order when she has lost them (again hearing aids). I make sure she gets to doctor’s appointments. I remind her of the activities she enjoys. I have breakfast with her. I bring her over to my house for meals when my daughter’s family is here. I share pictures from Facebook of the rest of the family with her. I bring my little dog who she loves (mom is NOT an animal lover, so this is surprising how much she likes my rescue chihuahua). I try to make sure she is happy and content.

I think I’m a pretty good mom.  My older girls live 6.5 hours away and I recently spent 2 weeks helping my oldest daughter who had hip surgery (too many Spartan races and 10K’s in 2018).  I ran up and down her stairs several times a day.  She could scoot herself up and down the stairs, but I  had to run the crutches up and down for her, fed the dogs (4 including mine), cooked, cleaned, did laundry, changed sheets, whatever she needed.

As a wife, I try as hard as I can.  I wear myself out trying to take care of my home and yard.  We live in a cold damp climate which plays havoc with my fibromyalgia.  If I sat in my recliner all day I would be fine (with my heating pad), but I just can’t.  I know I push myself way too hard……

So back to my commitments to myself:  I did pretty good, but missed a few things.  I woke up with a severe headache on Friday so I missed some of my usual routine.  Today is a new day so I am not taking a failure to give up.  I will just add the two things back in today.

About Allysgrandma
Passionate homemaker after 40 years of working and raising daughters! Finally time for my first love (other than DH who I met when I was 12)....sewing and quilting.

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