Day 13 of The Contentment Journal, June 14, 2019

Prompt: Debt steals your gratitude. If you have debt, what’s your top emotion around the subject?

This is an easy one.  Regret.  That is the emotion I feel, so much regret.

Okay that’s over with now let’s talk about something more fun! I found miniature orchids at Grocery Outlet for $3.99. I got 7 of them, one in every color.  I immediately stopped at mom’s assisted living which is between our home and the new Grocery Outlet built in our small rural Northern California town.  She was sitting in her chair reading the newsletter Timber Ridge puts out in her chair.

I cut out a third 49er apron for Javonn and I don’t have enough left for Jaylen’s, so I need to pick up some more. Jaylen is only going to turn 4, and I couldn’t even squeeze out enough for him.   His birthday is August 29th so I have time.  These boys are the sons of my daughter’s BFF since the age of 5!  They are now 38. My daughter lives in Reno and her BFF lives in Sacramento so it’s easy to visit on day’s off occasionally.  My oldest daughter, who also lives in Reno, middle daughter, mom to Javonn/Jaylen and a bunch of other friends, all 38+ just went to a New Kids on The Block concert at Arco Arena in Sacramento.  There were a few other late 80s groups too.  They said it was a great show.  A bunch of adult women with children, all dressed in their 80s/90s garb having a blast!

I made my favorite WW dish last night:

Butternut Squash/Black bean/Corn dish:

It has 0 points if you spray the pan. I use about a tablespoon of olive oil, but I make a gob of it, so I eat it for several days.

Okay take a chopped small (or half a large) onion and bell pepper (I love red bell pepper) and throw it in the pan that has come to a pretty hot temp.  Let the bell pepper and onion cook up for a few minutes.  Meanwhile get your prepped butternut squash (cut in medium sized chunks, I buy mine already prepped at Winco in the produce department). Throw the butternut squash in too, about 2-3 cups. While that is cooking on the stove, go grab a can of black beans from your pantry (we always keep a lot of canned beans in ours), and get some frozen or leftover grilled corn too.  Canned corn would probably be okay too, I just don’t use it.

Throw everything in your large skillet and get out the chili powder, cumin and garlic salt. I put about a tablespoon of chili powder last night, about a tsp of cumin and shook the Lawry’s Roasted Garlic Salt, several times.  Stir it around.  Add riced cauliflower if you are going for a super low point meal or cook some quinoa to go with it.  One half cup of quinoa is 3 points so put that in the bottom of your bowl (or don’t) and then the butternut squash mix.  You can garnish with plain chopped coleslaw, cilantro or even avocado if you want.  It is so delicious.  It makes a great filling for a low carb tortilla also! I have been known to also throw tomatoes into the dish.  Yum.  So glad I have some in my refrigerator right this minute!

Today is all about Pyper.  I need to get with it and be in town by 8:00 a.m.!

Promises Made, Promises NOT Kept

I talk to my sister on the phone……a lot.  It’s so nice that long distance is basically free now after many years of us both having to watch out for how much we were talking on the phone with those long distance charges and our smaller incomes and raising children, etc.

I always make grandiose plans for myself, commitments to myself and let’s face it, I just don’t feel important enough to actually follow through on those things.  I am an Obliger for anyone who is familiar with Gretchen Rubin and her books.  While reading Better Than Before the phrase “do you put everyone else’s needs above your own to the point of exhaustion?” Okay I’m paraphrasing.  That phrase hit me between the eyes.  Why yes, yes I do.  Do you keep commitments to yourself.  Um no.   I am an excellent, grade A+ obliger.  I’m okay being an obliger, I do really enjoy doing things for other people, as my past entries may show. But I really wish I had just a little bit more of an Upholder in me.

I rejoined WW recently (formerly Weight Watchers, but apparently Oprah didn’t like that name) and at yesterday’s meeting, where I surprisingly had lost 2 pounds, the topic was reset.  Reset? I know all about reset, I do it almost daily!  So I am going to make an easier commitment.

For the next 90 days I am going to use Rachel Cruze’s new book, The Contentment Journal, and write even just a few words about the days prompt and my response during breakfast, which I guess means I will be a day behind because I don’t see myself stopping right now and doing the first day’s entry because I need to water my flowers, finish cutting out the apron’s for Father’s Day I have promised to make for a friend of my middle daughter’s (actually her friend since age 4 or thereabouts), clean my house up after a whirlwind declutter yesterday evening for my granddaughter’s theatre group’s garage sale, walk my dog, and help DH make burritos (both breakfast and regular).  Sometime I need to run down and see my almost 90-year old mom at her assisted living facility (the one I retired from) and whatever else pops up today.

I want to do this for me.  I hate to think I am going to get to the end of my life having never kept a commitment to myself.  I’m 61 now and in 7 months I will turn 62.  C’mon Cheryl you can do this…it’s only 90 days!

I’m 60, OMG I’m 60!

IMG_5653IMG_5677I’m starting to think it’s now or never for me becoming who I really want to be.  I turned 60 on December 22, 2017.

Well who do I want to be?  I want to be the grandma that every little girl could hope for.  I want to be spontaneous and able to pull out art/craft  projects at a moment’s notice.  I want to enjoy sitting in the backyard watching the girls, realizing these days may be long, but the years are very short.  I want to enjoy being silly and cooking and gardening and reading with them.

I want to be a wife who patiently listens (I really need to work on that one), and I want to be able to cook a decent  meal when my husband is too tired to do it (he is the family chef).  I want to be able to enjoy things my husband enjoys just for the sake of making him happy (watching marathon Food Network….ugh).  I want to not worry and allow my husband to take care of me.

I want to be a mom that my daughters can talk to about anything, (well except maybe sex).  I want to not give advice and realize that sometimes the girls may just want me to listen.  I want to be able to help them when they need help and I want them to know they can always depend on me.

Also I want to stop driving myself crazy not being able to find things, or wait until the last minute to do things.  I want to be more relaxed.  I want to exercise and maintain a healthy weight.  I want to keep my house clean enough to never cringe if someone stops by.  I want to make a difference.

Which brings me to quilting.  Before Ally was born (I cannot believe she is 9!) I went with my daughter to a financial class that was put on by the Navy wives at Camp LeJeune.  After the class, the moms were all given care packages that included a hand crocheted blanket.  The first though I had was, “wow someone or a group made all these different blankets”.   I knew right then someday I wanted to do the same thing, only quilts.

This year I finally started.  A little girl who is an Army brat was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma not long after I met her in the little quilt shop I work in occasionally.  She was visiting her grandmother who brought her in along with her aunt (who is a regular customer).  I quickly bonded with her and when I heard about her cancer I offered to make a quilt for her.  The aunt is a pretty new quilter and gratefully picked out the fabric.  I made an easy quilt for her, a local long arm quilter quilted it for me for free, and I sent it off.

I met a quilter this year at the shop who makes quilts for military babies in Southern California.  I knew God orchestrated that visit to the shop since I only work one day a week generally.  I told her my story and she gave me her name, address, email address and told me they would make sure anything I sent would get to the right place.  I am so excited to get started on making a few this year.

My other quilting goals…..oh my I have so many, right now it stands at 12 for family.  But first I am reorganizing my fabric and sewing room and giving it a good cleaning.  I  have two quilts cut out and cannot wait to get started!

My World Starts Over Again!

After 4 years in the Assisted Living industry, I have retired once again.  My job was very rewarding, but also very stressful both mentally and physically, so I once again have quit working.  This time I have no plans to ever go back to work.  I am not sure if anyone will read my blog, but I want to use it as an online journal, so to speak, which is exactly what I said last time!

My dear sweet husband of almost 38 years has been very supportive of me in making this decision, but I have to think he kind of likes me taking on some of the jobs that he does in addition to working full-time running our business.

This is my 5th week being retired.  I thought for sure I would be totally up to date on cleaning, organizing and our yard would be worthy of a tour.  Hahahaha…..not even close!  So I will do a little bit every day to work towards those goals.

Last weekend was our 40th high school reunion and it was so much fun.  We could not have had a better time, seriously.  I stepped out of my comfort zone and talked to people who were not my friends in high school and my husband did the same.  I cannot say enough about it!  Ironically my husband’s favorite teacher passed away on Sunday, the last day of our reunion.  Dennis Cahill taught biology and Ron even talked me into taking one of his classes one year.  I barely passed!  I don’t think Ron ever got anything less than an A in Mr. Cahill’s classes.  He will be missed.

This week I am in SoCa as Pyper turns 2 today and Ally will be 8 on the 18th!   WordPress has a lot of new looking icons, so I am going to have to learn to post pictures all over again!

 

2015 Journaling

I think typing is so much easier than writing!  I think this means to keep a journal/diary I should just keep up on my blogging. If anyone reads, great, if not fine too. I want to look back at what was happening in my life that I may have forgotten.

2014 was so busy with OD’s wedding in Maui March 20, 2014 and GD2 born in August.  Along with that I was promoted in July and work is busy, busy, busy.

I have settled in and it is time to try to start improving my life again.  Thanks to meds Fibro is under control and I can get a lot done as long as I stop before it is too much!  Work smarter, not harder.

Purging and organizing: I have been reading and participating in the Konmarie group on Facebook and have learned a lot and finished my clothes.  Still have lots to do, but I feel it is doable.

Gardening:  The yard waste pile from the last 27 years is gone!  We will be planning a new garden after closely watching the sun over the last year, picking out the new spot.   With the drought we did not garden last year, but I think we are good to go this year water wise.

Quilting:  Aaahhh my first love.  Always have several projects going!

I also plan to do more reading again.  Currently I am reading W is for Wasted by Sue Grafton.

Money:  20% to retirement savings and making sure we keep up on meal planning!

I plan to enjoy the girls as we do not know how long they will be with us.  GD2 almost has a tooth through.  GD1 is smart as a whip.  She loves school and her family and she makes a point to let us know.  She is a sweetie pie!

My Life Has Shifted Again!

Oh Lordy, I have a full time job and have for 6 months.  I LOVE my job, but it does not leave time for much else.  Or I should say with my fibromyalgia I don’t have the energy and while my pain is SO much better than it was 2 years ago, it still limits me.

We have great health insurance, which is very important and some extra money to put into retirement.  I won my Social Security claim and will get a check for 2 years.  I of course was denied, then my new job was plopped into my lap (I was NOT looking for a job), I called my lawyer to say forget the Social Security application.  He said we should at least go ahead with a closed claim. 

I am convinced I would have been awarded full Social Security because the Voc Rehab person could not really find another job in my category…and I was awarded my claim in about 10 minutes.

I would like to buy a Temperpedic bed with my award.  That is my plan anyway.

Until then I continue to work hard, quilt when I can, and look foward to some gardening.

I cannot quilt AND garden because of time, so I must get six more baby quilts done before I start gardening!

My dear son-in-law is in Afghanistan and my 4 year old granddaughter and my daughter are living with us while he is gone. I pray constantly for him and am grateful for our blessings.

Tuesday Garden Party, May 29, 2012

Just a quick note to say I am home from South Carolina where I had a great time.  My DH tried as best he could in the garden, but I spent all afternoon Sunday weeding and I have hardly made a dent!

Will get back to regular garden blogging next week as my oldest is here visiting from Reno.  My youngest daughter, son-in-law and 3 year old granddaughter are also here for the month of June before my son-in-law reports to Camp Pendleton in San Diego! (HURRAY!!)

Needless to say I have much to get caught up on!  Look forward to catching up on everyone’s posts.